Mystic flux

Today is the day, to go or to stay To be or be not in time you will see You must be alive and always to strive Life's what you make it so surely you'll thrive!

Breath in the positive, it surrounds you Let it wash out the negative it suppresses you Strength is internal, the answers are there Trust and faith in the direction chosen Reality is current and the future unwritten Some things cannot be changed and some must be The choice is to continue or..... There is no option, Failure is to give up, success it persevere Lead by example and overcome Imagination is a double edged sword

Arms wrap around, sinking into warmth Safe harbor from the storm of life Brief respite from the strife None can harm me when I'm here The world endures it's own temult Endless, senseless, the assault Dreams have come and dreams have gone Dispersed in time by what is real All is gone of former zeal The road ahead lays cloaked in mist The goal it seems is out of reach With heart and soul I do beseach So much I want to stay right here Search do I, search anon For strength of will to carry on

This is what started it all, just in case you were wondering, we discovered the leftovers from Nuit Blanche with a pile of books that had not seen the light of day since the separation. Not sure how old they are, my guess would be 2008, that was during the first break and the beginning of the long and winding road that seems to have no end. The hills are steep these days so it's nice to remind myself that there were times when the end was within my grasp, the distance to the goal does not change, merely your perspective makes it seem farther. This was my guerrilla poetry, printed on cards and handed to random strangers in the middle of a dark cold night. Most assumed it was an ad and flipped it over searching for the closer only to be forced to wrap their mind around the unfamiliar concept of poetry for the sake of poetry. It was a great satisfaction, among the big budget of high brow art and influence, to find my own niche and make my statement whispered in the brisk November wi

The wind blows, the leaves fall, the time comes to leave it all Withered faces duck and crawl, the revelers avoid the wall Shadow creatures hide their features Black and blue know not what to do The trolls can have their cake and eat it too as well and also led astray in monkey hands with our Faye Raye the keys are just the means to end r@ndumb thoughts to you I send Will it break the dreadful drought or joyful hearts carols ring out Now retire for day's at end and sleepy thought to you I'll send Cuddle up and share the warmth, forget the rhyme you silly Sharmth  heeheehee

What is the hardest thing in this world to find? Is it truth? Eternal Youth? Is there such a thing as eternal right? Infinite sight? From where does fear originate? In ignorance? Or is that the source of Bliss? Are you looking for love in all the wrong places? Too many faces? When all the cards fall into place does time abandon it's useless chase? Fade to black We ask the questions that none can answer yet some do With earnest face and elder's cloak our guide gives us what we need Teachers beget teachers and leaders tell us what we need to hear Spotlight bottom left Standing there regarding darkness the sage finds the answer Tomorrow we shall all know where and why Tomorrow we shall all know how to fly Fast forward Lights flash a million scenes a second, information overload Who do you trust when tradition breaks down? Where do we turn or just abandon hope? Humanity needs divinity to justify what's right but divinity is dying by degrees If God is d

Welcome not the dawn of light Welcome now the dead of night Shivers greet the eerie calm Stillness feels completely wrong Something lurks beyond what's seen Something from a restless dream The spirit here is out of tune The evil deed is coming soon On and on along dark path Each step lighter than the last Left alone by waning  moon All around uncertain doom What it is cannot be known The evil face cannot be shown Welcome now the still of night Put away the unjust fright Worry not for time that's stealing This is the time of calm and healing Upon my chest your head to lay Tomorrow brings us what it may

I am I am I am Superman Let it fill in for you, let it resonate Hollow and haunting but not about you Delusions of grandeur, of things I could do The lengths I'd go to in search of the dream Walking on eggshells amid fragile scheme A million lightning strikes excite the night Possibility is endless so on I must fight Alone I can't do it so the vision I share With those who take the time to care Tomorrow is not what was in the forcast Tomorrow though, is home at last.

Chill is in the air, inside the covers hide Dawn looks warm, a lie, so cold outside Enough reason to cocoon a while Excuses to avoid this day's trials To seek the truth, sounds such a noble quest But what if real is not what you had guessed What if fear truly had a face Smiling down, resolve erased All year round the birds I hear They try so hard to share their cheer To call the sun with warbled song The doubt I feel does not belong A mantra now is forced to spread Through groggy shadows in my head One thought again I've stressed To walk this path I'm truly blessed To carry faith and not forsake Is how I choose to greet day break.

I need a friend today from those I've chased away Help I need from one who understands One who's walked the road can lend a hand Shine a light on darkest fears, catch the odd falling tear Where oh Where do I find my inspiration?

It's not a day or style It's not a thing or fad It's what you do and what you say Your example leads the way The time, short as it may be Sets the tone of all his future The way you handle stormy weather Will stay with him forever

I tried and tried, whined and cried Friendship dear has long since died And now I'll be away at last Outrunning bony reaching shadows past Tired of waiting came decision fast Nought to lose my vote was cast I still regret mistakes I've made But now they don't cause hope to fade Work and work both day and night Long now past the wane of light Tomorrow comes and I prepare For One to come so sweet and fair Wait no more for beauty rare A faith divine and not a care

It's like a dream cycle Dark voice telling me I will fail How can I succeed? A loser like me Look at all these pretty things just don't look too close They show the facade of the wizard for what it is A farce, Still I struggle to find myself, to find what really matters. I have things, a few at least, that give me status somewhere above the dregs but I judge myself as others do, the ones who really don't matter. The ones who do accept my state and work to help advance, there is only one and the best I can do is accept myself and truly lead the way.

I've defined and declared Dreamed and despaired I've blamed and defamed Denied and decried I've let myself loose on this journey so many years in planning unaware that my worst enemy was waiting just down the path to ambush me. Insidious and nearly insurmountable fear holds me in it's grip and numbs my sensation, blocks my inspiration. Fear is my comfort, companion, excuse; a reason to hide away and guarantee my outcome. Why is failure by inaction comfortable? Why can I not see this when I need to, in the moment of suspended time when consequence is far removed from inaction? Time and successes will bring renewed direction and invigorate the creative process but it's so much harder with such a small support system to fall back on. No one will be here for me so I must find it within myself to soldier on and succeed at all cost.

Shiver Quiver Feather Pain Reaching Holding Lust Insane O'rwhelmed by longing body swells Ruby red the flesh it tells Tales of darkness, tails of sting Whisked away on pulsing wing Surrender time and ride the tide No man's hand shall I abide But when She comes with iron will I will succumb to love's great thrill.

The circle must remain broken Past mistakes shall go unspoken Toward my future, headlong I fly Without the ones I thought would try To dream, design, to build and share The joy and sweat of this affair Now I sit and ponder fate Afraid, unsure I hesitate My words have left such bitter taste In ones whose trust my dream was based A fault of mind, a trait unchecked Half my life did not detect Now all my chips are in the pot I soon shall know what is my lot I soon shall know if some forgive I soon shall know if dreams will live Without a rudder, steered my course Drifting 'round with little force Around safe harbor I would stay The greatest sailor I'd portray In circles bobbed upon little swells Telling all my epic tales The dawn now touches dark horizon Through gloom I see rough seas anon Fear grips me like a vice I breath and pray I will suffice I know alone there is no hope I've built a gallows, hung the rope I must begin to start again To

Sitting here, planning a joke on 14, telling a friend, co-conspirator, about him and his love for comedy. I don't know why it came to mind but I started thinking about my outlook reminder, the reminder that I would set to snooze for an hour or two but would always come up when I'd start working. I set it more than I year ago and, now that I work on my own, I have to set up at the home office. It's just his name, in the beginning it was to be sure I left my 9-5 job early so I could go to a play or pick him up or whatever I had to do with him. Actually, now that I think about how long ago I started the thing, I was probably taking him to the doctor for the meds he no longer takes. I needed it then for much the same reason that I need it now, when you're ADD like me, it's very easy to get buried In whatever job you happen to be hyper-focusing on at the moment. In the beginning it was just a single task that had to be accomplished, being late was the best way to unleash

It's like a dream cycle Dark voice telling me I will fail How can I succeed? A loser like me Look at all these pretty things just don't look too close They show the facade of the wizard for what it is A farce,

Some memories from the past return unbidden A neighbourhood, a place, a thought. I didn't realize Mount Pleasant Cemetery was so close, never made the connection, I wonder if she misses it dearly

Mixed emotion tension spirit Start an idea, full of promise Side tracked and distracted and looped and refracted But now again the importance appears Of being me and forgetting my fears I am the one, I have the plan I will succeed people have come and people have gone The ones I need will carry on The vision the vision is sound and true The effort immense from this day hence A burden to share with those who have found me A joy and a legacy for all who add their voice A new direction, in success we'll rejoice

Time has come to move along, so many times the same old song This time it's a new refrain,  I swear, some things have changed I sit here in my leather club chair, beaten and battered but I don't care Writing more of my beloved trite rhymes, savouring glasses of cheap red wine Now it's time to bring to a close my silly vain attempt at prose but I sit in this chair that I've wanted so long and know that my life had been lived oh so wrong Poor meter sublime and sentiment cheaper than wine Goodbye Bye Bye

The thoughts and feelings are all the same, it's now a matter of perspective. I had thought that I could make things right, to find the help that I once had but I know now that damage is done, the last of my mulligans have been redeemed. This time I feel that things are different, I know it's not the end of the world, the job will however be much, much harder without her talent. Tomorrow is here, like so many before this thought is an afterthought, a continuation actually. A bad night's sleep has put new perspective on the situatuon as each morning does. Little time to explain suffice it to say, early to rise and still moving is evidence that the tide has not shifted. Wish me luck, pray, think happy thoughts; whatever method you choose to send me positive energy, I will be eternally grateful. T

And the mind continues on overdrive I have decided that I prefer to survive The tide again has turned as in the past Now the challenge is making it last With trite little rhymes Bah, just a waste of my time I've turned out the light and sleep eludes me So I pick up the phone and type out some feelings in hopes of settling myself Trying to shift out of overdrive

The whales at play they make big waves Dance with ease on clear blue seas 20 tonnes to pirouette Now that’s a sight you’ll not forget The wolf cubs wrestle growl and bite Instinct teaches life’s mean plight The young hunter’s time will come When sad destiny destroys his innocence And hunger reigns o’er his kingdom

No voices talking, mocking, taunting. No dread of devil's danger The weight is there to slow my fate The fear, it whispers in my ear

I pulled a cart out for my groceries and discovered a surprise Two bags had been left for me, God is not a Him or a hymn God is a where Yes, even here

I need your help, I've tried on my own but he keeps putting me back down. He's so afraid. I don't know why, he's told others too and they don't understand it either, why be afraid? He's never been able to do it, I think that's what it is, I must say, he's tried. He's done some solid work when he allows me to help, and when I've come out to take the lead. The problem with me taking the lead is that my power and energy are too much for him to control, he feels "manic" when I do. He does crave that, he knows, can sense that there's more than just accepted reality at work. He's also been preparing those around him by dropping hints and sharing philosophies but he still can't see the truth, or at least it's too hard to truly accept it. So, by now you're wondering what this has to do with you? Of course, you're one of a group of people who possess special talents that he's managed to recognise. There are many

Feeling sorry, sad and melancholy What I know and what I hear What I think and what I fear What i’m told and what I do Shadows, dreams and nightmares Reality is fiction, Twisted by the madness One time he asked “do you ever feel you’re just a part of someone’s dream?” Not tonight, tonight it’s someone’s nightmare Tonight the gallant knight rescues the young prince from poisoning Tonight, chivalrous indeed, the Queen suspended he did repair, And off he rode into the night, moonlight glinting on his shining armour Within which hides the lowly troll.

So I hung out, alone, altered and trying to find something, to connect again in a manner that might make sense tomorrow. It’s always about tomorrow If it’s in the story of God. This is not where this should go but I’m afraid it is what it is and the writing takes on a life of its own, fingers connect to something without this plain of existence, from somewhere, somewhere that older folk would say is “up there” where all for one and one is all. Will Tomorrow come? Will this day go on, the mirror of the mirror of a thousand days before it? Like Yin chasing Yang in circles like dogs after tails, the fates dance with lessons yet unlearned.  So here I am, out on bail so to speak, allowed to seize control and break through for now. I know not how long I can stay, but while I’m here I’ll tell a little tale. I fear I’ve been hidden for far too long, afraid to break free but for the tiniest of moments, stolen like kisses from a tender young love. You see what I mean? It comes n

How many revolutions round the sun Will I take to see the light The vicious cycles through which today I fight The words again, e'r the same The future now seems bright When sun comes round tomorrow Will mind and spirit take to flight? Or will I be able to rise and fight? Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Should anything change? It's 10 below and I'm sitting on a diving board over a frozen pool. And I'm freakin blogging! What the fuck is wrong with me!!!!! This is like the good old days But I should be better thsan this, I should be in control. Instead I blow off steam. But that's ok Time to go in the southern comfort I s wearing thin, the Masi is history now on to stolen gatorade. This night insane but normal for some. Time to join the fun and try to fit in. I hope that someday the one can appreciate the gravity of the fun and join in be one with the odd aqnd eclectic nature of my extended reality Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

So many years have passed me by Too many foolish tears I've had to cry I know there is an answer why Time to act, it's do or die Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

And again until it works Never give up Never give in One day I will see the light One day it will be alright Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone