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So, today I return

This is one of the hardest things I've ever done, fear impedes me like a soft warm blanket. I lean in and it gives way as the words begin to flow.

Does your fear have a physical presence?

For me, this is one of the most significant benefits of using cannabis in my self analysis, as I consider the different elements of my life, the ones which cause me emotional pain, way too many to list, I can visualize the sensations which correspond to my cogitations. I can feel the fibromyalgia ebb and recede as I stretch and reflect and partake of Spiritual practice, my self care time.

I want to go back to bed, to my warm comfortable wallow. I want to wrap my arms around myself and let someone pick me up, dump me somewhere and I'll just close my eyes and die. If only it were so easy. 

There are rules we have to follow, not the scriptures or the laws, the Tao of being. We're here for the duration, here of our own free will, lost and twisted, again and again. Samsara, the eternal schmaltz of being. These words may not fit your context so you may not understand, to me, they open up a channel, the one that brings the peace, the gentle calm of Love.

Whenever something is seen to be beautiful it immediately begins to become ugly. We must look within ourselves to find wisdom, the only truth we can ever really know. When Truth becomes prophesy, it becomes dogma, a kernal of Truth in sweet smelling poison. Corruption of the word is everywhere in our reality, WE are the hand of God who must right this wrong. But how? 

Open your eyes, see the lies, the half truths and selfish little smiles. When children are not cherished but used, so many, so badly, all over the world. This is why we wear our thick skin, to separate us from ourselves, to separate us from our heart. We are them and they are us in some crazy metaphysical way, once you've felt their pain you'll know what I mean. So do you want me to leave you peacefully, oblivious in your bubble or are you out here with me?

The one who speaks does not know, the one who knows does not speak. I do not say to you "this is the Truth" I say this is MY Truth, and this is how I came by it. I say to you there IS Truth, it lives within.

To the Divine Body of Truth,
The incomprehensible, boundless Light
Obiesence 

Live, Love and stay WILD my friends 

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