Sorry

Tonight your pain is worse, it’s been building as the flesh deteriorates
Infection now makes every touch, brush or pressure agony

And I am a monster for I feel no empathy

Sunday I came home and wanted to spend time with Playa,
When will you do this, when will you do that

I’ve worked all day, all week without a break now it’s time to catch up with him

Then I have to listen as you tell your worker how you never get any help
And more painful than that “Playa puts himself to bed” a stab, but he knows better
No good it would do to point out the things I’ve done, they don’t register on the scale past the things that aren’t

So then, when I’m feeling ill and wrapped up trying to fight a chill
Shivering, fetal, nauseous, with your bitter words to Playa, I take exception once again
Fetal and shivering on the couch but to you it looks like I’m laughing at you

Body aching, I want to sleep, 9:30 I tuck in Playa and read with him
When I tell you I want to go to bed “well I guess I have to too.”
Yes that’s what it means but it also means I have to find the strength to put you there

But before we go I need to spend a minute or two in the loo to lose my dinner
Oh, I see you believe me now, you don’t think I’m faking
And three times in the night when your pain wakes you and you call me
With the body aches I move my pathetic old bones to roll you, feeling sorry for myself

Feeling sorry for myself

Feeling sorry for myself

Getting me nowhere

This feeling sorry for myself