Dread Anticipation

I sit here trying to work
same thing that I do each day
Some days are worse than others
as static clouds the air

Today though,
today is different
The mornings battle was
particularly bitter

Today I know she sees
that hope is lost
Stated in no uncertain terms
black and white

The pain is there,the biterness, regret
the wounds are weeping
unhealed injuries of years of conflict
To what degree was this conflict exposed?

A boiling iceberg
showing just the harmless tip
We can get by this!
just below the surface a bludgeon awaits

So I check again and again
dread anticipation of what she has to say
A diatribe on my selfishness as it was yesterday?

Worse, much worse
for as the thoughts accumulate
and here I diseminate and
my frustration starts to disipate

All the while the bits are sneaking in
Infecting the inbox
and seeing the that bold number one
my chest tightens as I discover I have new mail

It's worse today because it's not about me
worse, much worse
a reminder of what I must do
Notice of how I've failed him

The recounting of their conversation
in the aftermath of war
Why does daddy get so mad about the grocieries?....
You know he gets really mad fast.

That shattered mirror that
I gaze upon
Just lost a major shard
a little glimpse of monster lurking in behind

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