Mystic flux

Falling, falling cold and brown Dead in the wind, dead on the ground My time has passed like birds in sky Circling, diving, distant, shy Now winter comes, freezing, harsh This snowy grave upon the marsh Another season fresh has passed Long days of sun fading fast Slumber now throughout the land Some will wake, some will stand I will join them if I can Spring's rebirth for this old man Waiting, waiting under ground Here in darkness spirit bound I hope to hear the springtime sound Only then will soul be found Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

The energy of thought, patterns of electrons in flesh Fire or flood, running, burning, drowning To form and fashion or stall, malfunction. What control do we have over what we think? What dominion the mind, ours or the cosmos? Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

I stand on the outside looking in, the glass is thick it distorts the view The laughing faces turns to each other in a silent dance around counless tables The food! The wine! The splendour lit by flickering candles I watch and wait. I watch and wonder why I shiver in the cold I turn and try to walk away but the walls of the hole I've dug myself are too steep I turn, I rage A little child looks down and spins my world He throws in a doll for me to play with and makes up stupid games and I play them I know there is more and I try to change the rules I think and I try to move but without him I cannot and I sit until he returns to give me little boy games to play I am here and I want out of my box I am among the connected ones but I've lost my frequency to a glitch I tune in again but static cuts the line I sit and wait and the little boy plays and the other world goes on without me and I fade as memories of minor characters do I know, I know but again I go To

Gently plucking strings, his mind goes where none have been. There must be something on this road for me to see, it's my time. What road will see me through? The one that jitters and shakes? The thought half wrought? You take your road and I'll take mine, and my road will see me through. Without you. Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

I am a small shadow within the large shell I present to the world. Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Bold an' golden sliver slung low on the horizon A simple solace for the lonely sole How many hearts hung upon that crescent Where waning hope does take it's toll As this night fades it slowly sinks below the line Gone again with faith it stole A figure on a silent stage, the curtain falls None shall see this final role No one hears the pain extolled Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Today yesterday and twenty days gone by Many todays have slipped away. Again and again and it's all the same. And now and then but what's to come The turn has got to be, For better or for worse. Some day to solve this curse Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Opportunity is lost Momentum is lost Sulking and scheming have revealed there cost But writing and telling shall cleanse and heal And someday the truth in my heart I shall feel Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

A day late, ten dollars short I'm here and for all the wrong reasons I fear I came to see her without knowing the details I started writing without knowing all my thoughts The evening is done and I now reflect on what I've learned The lesson is that living is not defined by those around me Living defines those around me I've made a mistake that I need to address I've seen things that have shown me a new light The darkness could be lifting but I've thought that before Be clear and true And stop the games Walk tall and leave the shame Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

It really does hurt a little But on I have to move To get my restless heart to settle Myself I must improve For great heights I must aspire And great help is mine to give True friends is what I require True help with my life to live But writing my way out of darkness Sharing and venting honest outlet Has taken it's toll upon my witness Closing doors have brought me regret Advances I made on the way back Time had come for the man within Negative feelings were starting to crack The words were the armor however thin To stave off the feelings mostly of guilt I put them in words and set them free And the friendship I thought I'd long ago built Could not survive or was not meant to be So now I lament and struggle again For I can't let it beat me It's time to break free Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Lights out, all but the screen before me. now, don't have the ability to write right now. See what I mean? I accidentally rhymed now with now! Tired and down, a bad day forgotten for a precious short moment, guilt suppressed not by spirit but by spirits. How do I answer the question? How do I explain the sadness? Guilt? Pathos? Love? An unhealthy troika if ever there was one! The honest approach I've been too scared to try, praiseworthy in others but too tough for me. For me I just hide. In dark dusky corners of life's mainstream I play, amongst the lonely and twisted, the nightowls and lurkers. My game is quite simple with very few rules, just keep your head down and do all the hurt, let no one get in to where the innocence lies. These eyes, these eyes, for small comfort he cries.

Now is the time to reflect, mind open to regret The words have been said, ire away misled Too blind to see that it's not only me But it's my job to correct

Hitting the road, to the horizon we go 90 mile an hour, too much money to blow Feel the wind in the hair, blue skies so fair Life flies by, days and nights is a blur Eyes catching all, the scene's passion to stir Burning Hi-test, in the dust are all the rest Forever we go, with no destination we know The dreams all will fade, the scars we have made Chasing ever on to find our elusive horizon.

While I take great satisfaction from the writing I post here, the status of my life makes it difficult to produce the work this blog deserves and was insired to be as evidenced in the early posts. Please welcome The Electrified ADD Brain!   electrifiedaddbrain.blogspot.ca I pray that someday the divine juice will flow through me again for to have loved and lost is.... Sadly, not of my experience.

The day started with a new product idea, hands down, the best I've ever had.  I got up at a decent time yet still managed to arrive 10 minutes late for work. I started my day knowing that I had to take control of the CAMH project and make sure that everyone had what they needed to get it done. With zeal and hyper-focus I attacked my day, juggling the education of my proteges, the need to advance my portion of the project and the needs of myriad other projects in the shop. I had altercations or near altercations with no less than 5 individuals, (several of them twice) I had a long debriefing with my boss to ensure that he understood where I was coming from and to assure him that I did realize that I was an asshole but also that I was working on it. I let him know a few of the ways he could help me by removing some of the little things bother me. I got home, told my father about my idea, told him it would be my first million dollars, heard my mother say in the kitchen, speaking

A rich bitch in her gitch, now that is a switch! A poor girl with her curls plays a song in her thong and I think all along naughty thoughts oh so wrong But my heart it does long for embrace to belong. And passion to burn oh so strong. Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Tis another day of rest To get jobs of my chest A time to gain tractiomn in my quest And show the world a novel way that's best Cogito ergo sum shall be put to final test Success and pride in work shall rest

I plot my course I see it laid out before me Legs pumping Heart racing Ass planted Not moving Down I go Slow regroup No Out Try again tomorrow

Dark folds of fabric Perpetual night A cold weight surrounds me Too much to fight Must find an opening To let in the light

This is where the lights fade The brakes and aches of getting there AAAaghh!! Nothing is good Time? Liquid thoughts flow through the pen, free at last It's such a blast to give them freedom Time is now to live, to breath, in me believe To wait I must till time is just Wrong for certain all those years When face appears that brings good tears Wishing for something to take me away Afraid of the future silly puppy stay Head up and forward march Till it comes some somewhere someday

It is the truth I'd hate to admit The last thing to say the truth in the way No reason or excuse to make The foundatiotins I need ro shake Too many years of pathetic whine The days gone by are not coming back Days to come will be the same If  changes remain a crying game

The light and truth shine through the night Positive thought purging worry Sleep follows, dreams fill mind's hollows Perspective for tomorrows fight Too many things that can't be changed Too many minds locked in olden days Too many hurdles for too little gain Too tired to fight again It's time to move on with the inspired life

Today my eyes opened, saw what others see The pile and clutter left behind By fantastic free flying mind The sad result of struggles simply to be

The cycle runs and does not stop The days go by like deja vu The time has come to be on top To stand, believe and follow through To show the world  what can do

We live on a tiny little planet surrounded by a universe that stretches out as far as the mind can imagine. On every side is matter, hovering like ours in like an island in a dark pool of.... Nothing Our society is very similar, a narrow band of normal where most fit in, surrounded on all sides by the outcasts, mystics and dreamers. From day to day who bothers to look beyond the bounds of their little world and see what's on the frontier. The call of madness, ring of truth, the scent of love and sublime youth. The concept of time on people in motion is lost on all but the static observer. Time flies while in fun and stands still until boiling but the mind that's outside those constraints is one that's surviving. Accepting and knowing are two separate issues, it's sad when you see but can do nothing to stop it. Now look to your heart and see you belong, not with the many but where you are strong. Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Fixced or variable, historically variable wins because banks make money by avoiding risk. If the bank sees rates coming down they make the fixed rate attractive to entice people to lock in. The bank is guaranteed to make money on a variable rate so the margin can be lower. The mortgage business fuels economic growth because banks are allowed to lend out more money than they take in. The system works when most people pay on time. Too many loans go into default and the bank will be unable to meet withdrawals. Painful irony after the sub prime meltdown is that none of the banks that bought "securities" would have lent money to the people who's mortgages they ended up holding. The buyers relied on bond ratings which were misleading to say the least and most were outright fraudulent.

In the middle of the field I stand, carnage all around My shield and spear lay at my feet, not a victor nor a slave Wounded and weary I come, flying a banner of white The past is littered with skirmishes, the bitter taste of war The time has come to use our strength to build a better world A world for all with hands to help and eyes to look within A dream some say but noble cause and that's the only way Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

In the middle of the field I stand, carnage all around My shield and spear lay at my feet, not a victor nor a slave Wounded and weary I come, flying a banner of white The past is littered with skirmishes, the bitter taste of war The time has come to use our strength to build a better world A world for all with hands to help and eyes to look within A dream some say but noble cause and that's the only way Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone