Never have I known pain like this I know what I want but still; the doubt Crushing weight upon my heart Unilateral withdrawl creates her void Her pain for which my guilt consumes me Hope is gone, the glimmer flattened by relentless sadness I know, I know but can't admit The future is the past unless direction changes Fifteen years of squandered time Always knowing in back of mind It's wrong, it's hollow, it's better than nought So now I face it once again It's time I choose to live Alone and desperate, dire and doubting Or free and prosperous I can not see, I wish I could not feel